What should it feel like to actually feel?

I have never been an open person when it came to expressing my deepest feelings. I always thought it would be better not to. Be it something sad I would think, “Why burden anyone with my problems? I dont want anyone to pity me, I don’t want to feel vulnerable in front of another.”; be it something happy I would think, “I don’t want to come across as too excited just incase all that I am happy about goes too soon which would then result in it becoming quite embarrasing.” Basically, any feeling I experienced on the inside, I found it stupid to exhibit it wholly in my expressions or body language at times. What I never realised was maybe the problem wasn’t with me exposing my real feelings but by me bring judged because of doing so.

Many times we always think about what impression most other people would catch of us when it came to showing the real side of ourselves. Why? Well because It would hurt more to be judged upon the real you than it would hurt if you were to be judged upon portraying a facade, as a result, tricking people. Because in that case if you were to be judged, atleast it wouldn’t be based upon your original persona but on a fake one that you’ve created; so that if and when judgement is passed it won’t be as hurtful and it wouldn’t affect you as much.

In this post I want to specifically adress laying bare what you’re actually feeling on the inside and how, sometimes, it can be so relieving. It’s time we understand one of the very rudimental steps to discovering yourself is to first come to terms with what you feel deep inside and how sometimes by actually experiencing and embracing those feelings without trying to hide them, it can act as a different type of relief altogether. This only can start once you let go of the fear of others reckoning you unft it according to their standards; which may be causing you to grip tight you to your contained self. Let go of that facade and earnestly wait for all the soulfulness that’s bound to come your way. We’re humans. It’s time we learn to feel with all our heart.

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